The Box In The Corner Of My Office

There is a box in the corner of my office. There is nothing special about the box itself. It's not expensive or ornate or even pretty. It's just a box. Inside, however, are the names of countless people who have asked me to pray for them and to pray for a specific circumstance in their lives. I write them down...and I put them in the box. I'll admit that some of the names are of people who have no idea that I am praying for them. I just decided to include them on my own. Several times during the day, I just roll my desk chair over to the corner and pray.

When I'm not in my office, I pray from memory. Thus was the case this past Friday, at 2:24 PM. I was vacuuming the house actually and was praying for a friend of mine who is battling cancer and who was, at that moment, awaiting a test result that would have major, major ramifications. I cannot overemphasize the word "major."

I had been praying, specifically, for a rise in her white count. A rise of 67 points. It didn't seem, to me at least, like too much to ask. Many in our church had prayed for the same thing. I had also been praying for an "awakening" in the hearts and minds of some of the people around her who don't seem to have "time" for her anymore or who tell her that "they just can't bear it"...those who are more attentive to their own sensibilities than to a hurting, battling human being. At precisely 2:24 PM, I was hit like a ton of bricks. So much so, that I checked the time in the event it turned out to be significant for any reason.

The thought that struck me was that perhaps...just perhaps...my seemingly small prayers were just that. Small.

Let me be very quick to say that these words are easy (in some ways...in other ways incredibly difficult because I love my friend) for me to type. I am NOT the one whose body is ravaged by a nearly 4 year battle with cancer. I am NOT the one who has been eliminated from a clinical trial because my white count is too low. I am NOT the one who is facing...constantly...without escape...the realities of the days ahead. I am NOT the the one who is a single mother of a young son. Easy for me.

I quickly ratcheted up my prayers for her. Not small...but big. A rise in white count can be accomplished with earthly things..given the right circumstances and enough time. Drugs, diet, metabolism...all sorts of things. While I could not stop praying for 67 points, neither could I keep myself from praying for the complete and total eradication of her cancer. I prayed big...for a direct, emphatic intervention from God. I prayed for miraculous healing. Not to be flippant...but I nearly prayed holes in my carpet! I thought I had experienced a significant, spiritual breakthrough...

...until this morning.

I read Paul's prayer for the believers in Ephesus. I realized that even my prayer for direct intervention and miraculous healing is, in fact....pretty small. We live in a world that is fallen and broken. We live in a world where cruddy things happen. We live among people who are at times selfish and disconnected and self-indulgent. But...we are children of the Most High God. A God who loves us and wants to know us and wants to empower us and wants US to know him and wants to deliver huge, huge things to us. A God who knows - has complete insight - into what we actually need even though we are just not capable of knowing such things ourselves. So, here is my prayer for my friend...and for all the people whose names are in the box in the corner of my office...and for all believers.

I thank God for you constantly. I pray for you the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you come to know God more and more...in a way that you've never even imagined. I pray that you grow more and more strengthened in your faith, in your understanding of God, and your understanding of the reality of God in your life. I pray that the eyes of your heart are opened wider and wider...so that you know hope, and love, and joy and peace like never before. I pray for you a power for living. A power for living that comes from the Almighty God...the very same power God exerted in Christ when God raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms...far above rule and authority...power and dominion...far above fallen and broken earthly fetters...and far above every title that can be given. Not only in the present age..but also in one to come. Amen and Amen. Ephesians 1:15-21

I am going to keep praying for specifics...big and small. But this, I think, is praying HUGE. I think I'll put my own name in the box too...