Yes Lady...I Am Pleased

It came to where I'd make the trip from my office to Budd Terrace Hospice and back to my office again without really thinking. The trip itself was neither pleasant nor unpleasant...it just came to be 25.17 miles of "automatic." Each way.

Equally automatic was pulling in to a Chevron station just before getting back on I-85. There, I would refill my QT cup (which is my constant companion) with Diet Coke. The egress in and out of that station is horrible. So, as was my routine, I parked around to the side away from the pumps.

I saw him as I stopped the car...even before I got out. I knew I would have to walk right past him and I knew what he wanted. His opening line was one I'm sure he's spoken hundreds of times. He said, "Hey buddy...can you help a brother out?"

He then began to tell me his story that, quite honestly, I was only half listening to. Something about needing bus fare to the Veterans Hospital (it was just down the street), about his serving in the military, getting kicked out of the house he had been renting, losing his job, being sick and so on. He didn't mention...nor did I ask about...the bicycle he had with him. I don't know why he didn't ride it to the hospital or what he planned to do with it while riding the bus. As I mentioned, I was only half listening. I was on automatic.

I finally stopped him mid-sentence and said, "Look. I have some change in my pocket. I'm going into this store and I'm going to refill this cup. When I come out, I'll give you whatever is left in my pocket."

He probably thought it was another "brush off." It was in a way. He probably simply hoped that I would be good to my word. He may have stood there in quiet anticipation. His spirits may have lifted a bit with my promise to give him money. He may have been excited about spending it. I don't know.

While inside at the check-out counter, with my refilled QT cup, I realized that I had more money in my pocket than I remembered. Not much more...just a single dollar bill mixed in with the leftover change. I stood at the door for a second before walking out to meet him again. I thought about moving the dollar bill to another pocket. I thought about how it would enable me to get yet another refill later in the day...for the ride home to Gainesville. I thought to myself, "He's only expecting pocket change. He'll never know." "It's not like I owe him anything." Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard my own voice speaking the words, "When I come out, I'll give you whatever is left in my pocket."

His eyes opened wide when he saw me walk up to him. He looked at me with hopeful anticipation...or was it wariness? Was he preparing himself to receive my monetary offering or was he preparing himself to be let down...once again? I just said, "Hey...I had a little more than I remembered." I handed him $1.42. He began to thank me and tell me his story again. I just held up my hand. He stopped talking to hear me say, "I gotta go."

He looked straight at me. I don't know what he was thinking. I don't know what was behind his eyes. He silently stuck out his his hand...somewhat uncertainly...for me to shake. I did. I turned and walked away...leaving him and his bicycle behind me.

Nearly back at my car, a rather bustling, bristling woman who had witnessed the exchange said to me, "Are you pleased with yourself? Do you think that you just did something special? You just enabled that loser to score some more crack or buy another bottle." I said nothing. I just left.

Fact is...she may be right.

All I know is that for a brief second, as we looked at each other and shook hands in rather awkward silence...we made a human connection. He had the chance to experience success. He had the chance to encounter compassion. He had the chance to observe generosity. He got to know the feeling of some money in his pocket where, before, there was none (or at least $1.42 less.) More than that...even if only for a brief moment...he got to experience a person who didn't totally brush him off. Who didn't lie to him. For a brief moment..he remembered the euphoria of hope.

I got the chance to keep my word.

Maybe the encounter was life changing for him. Maybe he did get to the Veterans Hospital and receive the help he needed. Maybe this hopeful encounter with humanity helped him have a new outlook on life. Maybe it was just enough to help him rise above his circumstances. Maybe his life is different...even better perhaps.

Or maybe he scored some more crack or bought a cheap bottle of wine.

Either way...in the one in a zillion chance you are reading this blog...to answer your question...Yes lady, I am pleased.

Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me. Matthew 25:37-40 (The Message)